Dear Annie: I have a friend I’ll call “Scott.” We have known each other for 15 years or so and are now both retired. He enjoyed working until he retired due to a factory shutdown.

Now Scott drinks from 8 in the morning until 2 or so in the afternoon. He is in good spirits in the morning but is completely depressed after 2. He tries to tell us that the world sucks now compared to when we were growing up. It’s so hard to hear him talk about this.

I want to tell him he needs help, but I’m afraid to. I can’t even hang out with him because of his problems. I know where to send him for help but have no idea how to send him there. – Want my friend back

Dear wishes: Your concern for Scott is completely valid. Sounds like he’s stuck in a bad spot quite a long timeand he may not even realize how out of control things have become.

When he is sober, share your concerns with him. Let him know that you want to help him if he’s open to it, you just want to see him happy again. You can’t force Scott to stop drinking, but the reminder that he’s cheering you on in his corner might do more good than you know. Check out an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting too. You’re sure to hear helpful suggestions from people who have been there.

Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our 70s. We have friends who are in their 40s, with two children (6 and 4). We have gone out for lunches together the four of them, and it has always been a bad experience. The children tear their way through the restaurant, screaming. Its suitable very embarrassing. Next time they invite us, we don’t want to be in a restaurant again. We don’t want to go to their place because the wife is a hoarder and there is only one room we can sit in – and besides, the kids are still running and screaming in his own home. They can come to us, but they still toil around.

What do we do? or say the next time they invite us to lunch? – Tired of chaos

Dear Tired: The energy of young children is unparalleled, so it is understandable that you are frustrated. The next time your friends invite you over for lunch, why not suggest a place with plenty of outdoor space so the kids can run around? Some restaurants offer outside areas with lawns and sometimes even a playground. Or maybe you can arrange a picnic in a parkso that the children can get all their energy out without disturbing the adults. Another option is to invite them over to your house and, assuming the parents are okay with it, put on a movie for the kidscomplete with popcorn and blankets.

Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].