DEAR MISS MANIER: My wife and I don’t eat out often, but when we do we like to go to a nice restaurant and usually have a bottle of wine.

One thing that annoys us is when the server often stops to refill our glasses (often when they are still almost full). Not only does this interrupt our conversation, but it feels like they are trying to get us to finish the bottle faster.

What’s the best way to let them know we prefer to pour our wine ourselves?

HAPPY READERS: Put your hand over the glass and politely say, “Thank you. I’m not quite done with this glass and we don’t want to bother you, so we can pour the rest ourselves.”

Miss Manners will join you in the hope that the waiter doesn’t react badly to being admonished for just doing his job – for example, by continuing to pour straight over your hand.

(Send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)